Dear Young man,
You don't have to have sex with every woman who shows the slightest interest in you. Some of us have ruined great friendships with some women in our lives because of this. I'm not talking about two people who decide to have a mutual sexual relationship with no strings attached. I'm talking about situations where she wants a relationship with you but you don't want the same thing. You know in your heart that you don't find her as attractive as she finds you. She is not even your 'spec'. You don't like her neither do you see a future with her. Don't take advantage of her emotions.
What usually happens in situations like this is that you have sex with her, She asks you, "what are we?", you lie and she begins to think this is the beginning of something beautiful but you know you are just here for the sex. Now you are trapped in a relationship you didn't even want in the first place. How do you think this is going to end? People can only pretend for so long. At some point, you won't be able to keep up the charade. She ends up heart broken and you just lost one potential good female friend.
As you grow older, you realize that your network matters as much if not more than your skills or knowledge but here yout are without any meaningful friendship with a female because you have tried to sleep with all of them. Ask any successful man and they would tell you how much the women in their lives have helped and contributed to their success.
Usually, this behaviour is some coping mechanism for your emotional inadequacies. You don't know if you can handle being by yourself. You always want to have someone and so you drag anyone along and you end up hurting them and yourself as you go. Do better!
- Peter Adesanya
