Dear Young Men

Dear Young man,

You don't have to have sex with every woman who shows the slightest interest in you. Some of us have ruined great friendships with some women in our lives because of this. I'm not talking about two people who decide to have a mutual sexual relationship with no strings attached.  I'm talking about situations where she wants a relationship with you but you don't want the same thing. You know in your heart that you don't find her as attractive as she finds you. She is not even your 'spec'. You don't like her neither do you see a future with her. Don't take advantage of her emotions. 

What usually happens in situations like this is that you have sex with her, She asks you, "what are we?", you lie and she begins to think this is the beginning of something beautiful but you know you are just here for the sex. Now you are trapped in a relationship you didn't even want in the first place. How do you think this is going to end? People can only pretend for so long. At some point, you won't be able to keep up the charade. She ends up heart broken and you just lost one potential good female friend. 

As you grow older, you realize that your network matters as much if not more than your skills or knowledge but here yout are without any meaningful friendship with a female because you have tried to sleep with all of them. Ask any successful man and they would tell you how much the women in their lives have helped and contributed to their success. 

Usually, this behaviour is some coping mechanism for your emotional inadequacies. You don't know if you can handle being by yourself. You always want to have someone and so you drag anyone along and you end up hurting them and yourself as you go. Do better!

- Peter Adesanya

STOP HOPING...

STOP HOPING for things to be great and/or to get better... But instead, START MAKING things greater than your yesterday's best. 

If and when you FAIL...it only proves one thing... You TRY your FIRST ATTEMPT IN LEARNING. Thus, When you learn things that works and things that dont... you'll be better than the rest who never failed and who never tried.

Stand for something... regardless!

The mistake-riddled life is much richer,more interesting, and more stimulating than the life that has never risked or taken a stand on anything!

Just Do You!

Your actions, inactions and reactions do not have to make sense to a lot of people. They are not you and you are not them.

So be cool with the fact that your life and choices will never make sense to a lot of people. 

That's what makes you, YOU: Don't ever lose the essence of who you truly are, on the platter of external perception and validation or non thereof. 

Be grateful for mistakes made and thankful for the lessons learnt from them.

Sometimes you just have to sit back and see what God delivered you from...No one else might see things from your perspective and that's absolutely okay. 

- #EAI ©️

#KeepWinning

Beat Your Excuses

Every time you overcome an excuse, you're one step closer to your goal! Here are a few tips on how to beat your own excuses.

1. Have a realistic and attainable goal. – set an ACHIEVABLE goal that’s SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound). Write them down or make a mood board to make them feel tangible. 

2. You need a plan of action for your goal. – Plan the steps you must take to realize your goal/s.  And remember to have a backup plan (plan B, C, D, E and etc.), in case your plan A didn’t work out so you’ll have no excuse to stop achieving your goal.

3. Less talking, more on doing – what you say doesn’t matter if you don’t live by it, make sure to act on it and always deliver.  Remember you are capable of DOING greater things, don’t limit yourself.

REMEMBER excuses is one thing successful people don’t make!

You can use this principle both in your professional & personal lives to maximise your time, effort and desired outcomes.

Keep moving

When you start a race, not everybody will cheer you on!

Some will just watch in silence...

Others will cheer you on for just a while...

Some will pray that you make it...

Others will wish that you fail...

Very few or none will run along with you...

But when you keep on, when you persist, when you go against all odds...

When you finally make it, when you win the race......

They will all applaud you!!!!

#BusinessLesson:

Applause doesn't come from giving up!

and nobody ever won the race by giving up!

Whether they cheer you on or not, keep moving until success is evident!!

Who are your friends?

What kind of friends do you have?

- The ones that draw your attention to social media beef, fights and blackmail posts, by tagging you or mentioning you in the comments?

- The ones that only send you invites to the different rant groups and the likes?

- Who don't tag you to posts that offer business and legit money-making opportunities?

- Who don't ever tag you to posts with useful self-development content?

- Who won't tag you to or share content that will help broaden your knowledge-base?

You see the world we are going into, post-covid, we'll have to be intentional about who we call our friends and the content we consume. 

Create that balance between when you consume fun content and when you take on serious stuff, that you need for your field of endeavour.

The world is going on a home run and "Loafers" won't fit in anymore.

Welcome to the New Normal!

- #EAI ©️

Dare to be you!

Often tımes, our decısıons, actıons, and reactıons are largely drıven by bandwagon motıvatıons. We are afraıd to take a stand for what we truly believe because we want to be accepted by others.

Thıs year, dare to be yourself. Dare to step away from the bandwagon effect and watch your lıfe soar. You wıll attract genuıne relatıonshıps as you dare to be yourself whıle workıng on your areas of weaknesses.

Thınk about thıs-
'Yes' and 'No'- are two key words to activate thıs year. No, to unhealthy rubbısh/negatıvıty.
Yes, to posıtıvıty and lıfe enhancers.

It's operatıon weed out negatıve toxıcıty.

- Amb Unyime-Ivy King ©️

Sweetness comes from sweat

Everyone has a desire to do something but very few have the discipline to set their desires free.
You have to understand that whatever you want, it’s not going to be easy. Sweetness comes from sweat.
The reason why many people don`t achieve is that they are so much attached to who they have always been instead of embracing who they want to become.
You were not born just to make a living, pay your bills and die.
The truth is that you were born for a purpose that`s beyond survival.

... Self assured!

CONFIDENCE...is a feeling of self assurance, the rising of ones, appreciation for ones own abilities. We look at confidence from a place of outside of ourselves.
But really it's a KNOWING of the POWERS God has given YOU.

It's the power of your ability to CREATE. Make sure you know the difference and make sure you adjust your mind and attitude to have the RIGHT kind of confidence in yourself.

It will take you very far!

Why die? #SayNoToDomesticViolence

I was having a chat earlier today about the reported cases of domestic abuse in the last 24 hours, as seen on social media. Of the two incidents, one of the victims didn’t live to tell the story, the other is an ongoing case which has gotten to the police. These days, incidents of domestic violence are quite rife, and I strongly believe that they are grossly under-reported.

That is not what I want to dwell on. We live in a generation where there is a lot of skewed / warped thinking cum reasoning. A generation that have sacrificed values at the altar of materialism. So I want to say, all our ‘’Slay’’ babes or is it queens? (Whatever that means), who prefer to cry in limousines, Lamborghinis, private jets, super mansions etc; I have one advice for you:
Enjoy the monies you get as ‘’compensation’’ from men that don’t treat you well, drive the cars, paint the town red, travel the world, Pepper dem, demean your competition, let them know they are not in your league, Keep up the fake outlook, even when you know you’re dying inside of you, mask it with what you want society to see.


While you’re at it, please be sure to set aside a portion of the ‘’stress-relieve’’ fund you get, for your burial expenses, just in case. Don’t leave that burden to grieving family and friends, since you choose/prefer to stand the ‘’heat in the kitchen’’ because of the monetary/material benefits that accrue to you.






Photo credit: Google



Photo Credit: Google


When your sad story breaks out, if it does, I'll only feel bad for a moment, say a long ''eyaaaaaahhhh, then immediately flip the script to find our if the naira has gained on the dollar, when the recession would end, if Nnamdi Kanu has met his bail conditions, Buhari's state of health, new locations where hidden monies have been found, why the Oba of Lagos gave the Ooni of Ife the royal ''ela'', sympathise with Chelsea fans that feel they will win the FA Cup, argue with friends who try to register me in the Bitcoin thing, which celebrities are fighting, scold my mechanic for putting a fake China part in my car, wonder why people watch ZWorld and telemundo, why guys put snapchat ''garden'' on their head, why people go live on facebook and just make faces, saying nothing, ultimately see thank God for his Grace etc.
You see, there is so much to live for, so many distractions in Nigeria and the world, to entertain you. Why choose a path that could end up being fatal?, why walk the dark path?... WHY DIE?

If a guy (Rich or Poor) is subjecting you to deep emotional abuse and you can’t cope, please TAKE THAT WALK and SAVE YOUR LIFE. You do not have to wait till it cascades to physical abuse…Money is good, but trust me, it is not everything.

Be wise!

***Men suffer abuse too, but that is not the focus of this particular post***

#SayNoToDomesticViolence #NoToViolenceAgainstWomen

- Ekerette-Alvin Ikpe #EAI

Guest Post: When Progress Is Slow - Nonhlanhla Kone

It's important to renew our minds, but it's also important to realize that this process of reprogramming or renewing our minds will take place little by little. Don't be discouraged if progress seems slow. Don't get down when you have setbacks or bad days. Just get back up, dust yourself off and start again.

When a baby is learning to walk, he falls many, many times before he develops the ability to walk without falling; however, the baby is persistent. He may cry for a while after he falls down, but he always gets right back up and tries again.

***Photo Credit: ZaibatsuPlanet

Learning to change our thinking works the same way. We struggle and fall down, but God is always there to pick us up. Rather than get frustrated, you should, as the Bible says, "triumph" in your hardship, because the very fact that you're struggling means that you're fighting the good fight.

There will be days when we don't do everything right, days when our thinking is negative. But never stop trying. God is gradually bringing us around to His way of thinking. Just don't give up!

Prayer Starter: Lord, thank You for picking me up when I fall down. I know that my struggles mean that You are helping me overcome my negative mindsets and bringing me more and more in line with Your way of thinking.                      

By Nonhlanhla Kone

Guest Post: When the world speaks negatively - Uduak Usoro-Ilaumoh

***Photo Credit: Zaibatsu Planet

No, You are too young...

No, You are too old...

No, You don't have a background....

No, You don't have the qualification...

No, You don't have the profile...

No, You don't have the Money...

No, You don't have the Class...

No, You don't have a name...

No, You are not beautiful...

No, You are a woman...

No, The Doctor says you can't make it...

No, You can't be married...

No, You can't have a child...

Every "Negativity" is on a mission...

The Mission to make you decline, surrender, withdraw, breakdown, dampen your confidence and leave you stripped!

Be Bold enough to Say YES when Friends, Families, Colleagues, Enemies, etc speak negatively!

THE WORLD CANNOT STOP GOD!!!

 - Uduak Usoroh-Ilaumoh

The ME

"My Heart is like an open book it depends on how you read me.

Don't  judge me by my cover, look in and discover me,then you can think what you want, but still I'm gonna be me moulded and shaped by my Heavenly Father daily.

I'm here you can either love me or hate me, I am still me...
Blessed of God,fulfilling Destiny!" - Unknown

I am who I am by the Grace of God, Purposed by Divine Design.

How was your night?

Today, it's about "HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT? "

The night is gone, the night was my past... I'm alive to a new day and what it holds for me. That is what counts! 

People just love dealing with people's  past. (Most times it's the only thing they've got on you, when they want to negatively criticize or judge)

One should rather be interested in how you're fairing/doing at the very moment of interaction.

How about?... HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS MORNING?, HOW IS EVERYTHING? or HOW ARE YOU TODAY? I think that sounds better.

Who "how was your night" epp abeg, wetin you wan know!? 

#EAI ©️®️

#IamTheChange

''...I IDENTIFY what needs to change,  THINK of how to change it, change my ATTITUDE,  then TRANSFORM into that which I seek to change.." - #EAI ®©

                                                                #IamTheChange

YOU are the beholder...

Hanging out with a few friends, some years ago, had one of them saying to the group ‘’whatever you guys are eating, you really need to give Alvin some.’’ We all laughed over that line, but deep inside me, I felt terrible, if not embarrassed, because he had simply fired up my misery some eons into space. I was really scrawny back in the day, and had always wanted to add some weight and look fresher, but yet, even in that sorry state I thought I was in, how some babes still thought I was cool back then, still remains unfathomable and worse still the ‘’I liked the way you used to look’’ line these days, just baffles the Gulliver out of my travels.

I should be ME enough to love my body size, if I am certain that is my preferred size, I look good that way, and not have society dictate to me, what is acceptable. Of course there is the ready excuse of health. Are we saying that there are no more chubby, yet healthy people? Chubby but fit people?

Slim is not necessarily fit and healthy, just like chubby is not necessarily unfit and unhealthy. You can be slim, sick and unhealthy, same way you can be chubby, fit and healthy. I have met very smart, healthy big-bodied individuals. I saw a friend recently, whom I thought really used to look good and fresh back in the day, looking like a scarecrow all in a bid to fit in. I did not utter a word, but I’m sure my shocked expression must have given something away. Unless there is a clear health and fitness threat posed by your body size, then one might need to check it.

Early 2014

Most Recent ( 20th February 2017)

Do not lose the essence of who you truly are or should be, because of wanting to meet up to standards set by society. I rather strive to stay healthy than please society by looking all ghostly because of the need to fit it and be accepted.

We live in a society where being on the generous side of body size has a sudden, forced stigmatization attempt, a clampdown of sorts. Ironically, the same folks that tell you how slim you are and why you should add some flesh, will tell you, Ol boy watch your weight, and when you drop some, they want to know if you were or are sick? (From recent experience)

HOW DID WE GET HERE?

The reflection you see in the mirror is going to look distorted because of societal demands, all the magazine and media based ideas of what "looking handsome or beautiful" is.

I am not sure I care what the media or magazines say it is, when they are all airbrushed and unrealistic bodies to maintain.

YOU are the beholder

No matter the flaws you consider, the stretch marks, the cellulite, the scars, the pimples... That doesn't define what an amazing, impactful being you are, and can be.

I urge everyone to stop trying to conform to particular beauty standards and body types. Forget them and rather focus on you and your happiness.

I'm here to celebrate it all, stretch marks, cellulite and everything else.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, I do not hear how you pick on my flaws, I care not what you think of me. I give you no power at all. I am much more than you can see.

Love yourself good and handsome/beautiful, at any size and in any damn angle ❤

Another year of gratitude...

I remind myself every year on this special day how blessed I am to have been given another year to experience the wonders of this beautiful world! 

My birthday is a day I reflect, cherish and love. I believe that I am the equivalent of fine wine or delicious cheese. The older the better. I am thrilled to be another year older and wiser today.

Like the song says: ‘Live your life with arms wide open, Today is where your book begins, The rest is still unwritten.’

Someday, I will tell the beautiful story of how human "expectations" were defied to write an emerging beautiful story. 

God already made the way, inspite of me: It is called GRACE

Like the eagle, I am free to fly!

All I can say thank you Jesus!!!

What you tell yourself is so POWERFUL!

When you don't love yourself you try to fill yourself up with sex, drugs, and food until that "void" you are trying to fill spills out and it goes into your relationships.

For the longest time I personally was victimized by the Frankenstein of my life... ME! 😂

I had quietly told myself several times: ‘’…You aren't good enough as you think you are.’’

You'll never feel confident enough, No one will ever love you, No one will accept you just as you are, You will always be the friend that would never check up on others, bla, bla, bla…

Does that sound like you too?

What I learned is that, what you tell yourself is so POWERFUL! 😱

So if you think you are any of those things, you are RIGHT. What you tell yourself out loud or in your mind is what your heart hears and it tells your brain what to say…Change your "I AM"

Start practicing your "I AM' s" and leave all the self-doubt, swipe right to all that negative self-talk and rather Choose to love yourself faultlessly!!!



I went through this motions too ... doubts in my head and a voice telling me to stay in my comfort zone since I wasn’t good enough ... BUT when I broke that vicious circle, I realized I could reach everything. Learn to fight for you, like I did for me... All the best to you!

The sun will rise and set regardless...

The sun will rise and set regardless, so what you end up choosing to do with your "light" is up to you.
But you are still living in your "cage". No one keeps you there but you. You totally forgot that, that cage has had its door wide open for years.
Stop letting yourself be locked up from things, people, bad experiences, fear etc. fully cut ties with it once and for all.
No longer give permission to let "residual moments" hold your life captive and live rent free in your amazing soul.

Being normal and safe is kind of boring. Yes, it's a "easy walk" but flowers don't grow that way. Flowers grow when rained on and they survive Nigeria's hottest sunlight and the most crazy storms, so do we.